I wrote this to complete the structure of my book, Lifehacks, and it turned out to be the most popular poem in the whole thing..

I have illustrated most of my poems, so an illustrated version may even now be sitting elsewhere in cyberspace . . . or maybe in a book.


One cut two cuts
I chop cashew nuts
almonds and sultanas.
Let’s practise with bananas.

Fruit chopping is great.
Fruit stays on the plate,
but nuts cause alarm as
they don’t act like bananas.

Your nuts defy gravity;
fly off with depravity.
You waste as you slice;
making picnics for mice.

Is internal stress popping
from the shock of the chopping?
No: forget the “why” and the “how,”
I want an answer, and now!

The solution is honey.
(the stiff kind or runny)
Smear the blade in some measure;
now nut-chopping’s a pleasure.

Nick James      Posted in:



June 2020, Tresna, Poland.

Header Image:

Illustration by the Author